When you're harvesting diamond babies from the red rivers, you don't need a bunch of people wondering what you're up to. Wearing a crazy t-shirt may keep folks from bothering you, so it might be a good idea to grab one and tie it around your unicorn-bashing arm as a warning flag. If people do happen to get within your personal germ-bubble, then you can just eat their brain.
I don't eat people's brains every day, mind you. Whenever I wake up and feel a bit slow, I find that a good dose of brains is what the doctor calls for to get a pep back in my step. Also, brains and scrambled eggs make for a great breakfast. There's something about all that protein that really gets my brain working...also, the assimilated memories and brain power is pretty great too.
I stay up way too late at night on my typical unicorn-hunt evenings. When I get up in the morning, I really feel like I'm a real zombie and not just pretending to be one. My joints are stiff, my eyes are swimming, and my pulse is way too low. If I didn't score a good unicorn brain, or at least a horn, the night before then I'm not worth very much the next day. I hate doing it, but a human brain comes in handy when I feel that bad.
Speaking of unicorns, does anyone else know why they've been running around with those werewolves lately? I didn't think they got along at all, and definitely not enough to hang out and frolic in the forest. It's just weird. I can't sneak up on a unicorn who's having wood beers with a werewolf. What happened to all the princesses they used to pal around with. Princess brains are WAY easier to get your hands on than a stupid old werewolf brain.
Being insane is fun. You don't have to worry about what other people think because they're usually thinking that you're crazy...which is okay, since you are. Crazy t-shirts are pretty good at advertising your insanity. When you put on a crazy t-shirt you're telling the world, "Hey, I'm a crazy person who may eat your brains so that his unicorn hunt goes smoothly as long as the werewolf bodyguards are drunk enough off wood beers not to smell you. Also, I may be a zombie.
I don't eat people's brains every day, mind you. Whenever I wake up and feel a bit slow, I find that a good dose of brains is what the doctor calls for to get a pep back in my step. Also, brains and scrambled eggs make for a great breakfast. There's something about all that protein that really gets my brain working...also, the assimilated memories and brain power is pretty great too.
I stay up way too late at night on my typical unicorn-hunt evenings. When I get up in the morning, I really feel like I'm a real zombie and not just pretending to be one. My joints are stiff, my eyes are swimming, and my pulse is way too low. If I didn't score a good unicorn brain, or at least a horn, the night before then I'm not worth very much the next day. I hate doing it, but a human brain comes in handy when I feel that bad.
Speaking of unicorns, does anyone else know why they've been running around with those werewolves lately? I didn't think they got along at all, and definitely not enough to hang out and frolic in the forest. It's just weird. I can't sneak up on a unicorn who's having wood beers with a werewolf. What happened to all the princesses they used to pal around with. Princess brains are WAY easier to get your hands on than a stupid old werewolf brain.
Being insane is fun. You don't have to worry about what other people think because they're usually thinking that you're crazy...which is okay, since you are. Crazy t-shirts are pretty good at advertising your insanity. When you put on a crazy t-shirt you're telling the world, "Hey, I'm a crazy person who may eat your brains so that his unicorn hunt goes smoothly as long as the werewolf bodyguards are drunk enough off wood beers not to smell you. Also, I may be a zombie.
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